Healing Through the Holidays: Coping with Treatment Memories

The holidays are meant to be filled with joy, connection, and celebration, but for many who have spent time in residential treatment for an eating disorder, the season often brings up painful memories. I’ve had clients share with me how tough it can be to look back at Thanksgivings and Christmases spent in treatment, away from family and friends. For them, it’s not just about the food, but the isolation, the sadness, and the feelings of being “different” during a time that is all about family gatherings and holiday cheer.

I want to take a moment to acknowledge how incredibly hard this time of year can be, especially when you find yourself thinking about those moments in treatment. Perhaps you spent the holidays in a sterile, hospital-like environment, surrounded by strangers and staff members who were there to help—but it didn’t feel like “home.” Maybe you felt like you were missing out on the warmth and joy of the holidays. The scent of home-cooked meals, the laughter around the dinner table, the shared traditions—those things can feel so far away when you’re sitting in a treatment center, struggling with your eating disorder and trying to heal.

If you’re one of those people, know this: You are not alone. Those memories are painful, and it’s okay to feel upset when you think back to a time when the holidays didn’t feel the way they were “supposed” to. But those memories don’t define your recovery, and they certainly don’t define you.

I’ve worked with many individuals who have been through the pain of treatment during the holidays, and I’ve seen just how strong they are for pushing through. Recovery is never easy, and it’s especially challenging when the holidays bring up so much emotion. But I also know that with time and support, it’s possible to heal and redefine what the holiday season means to you.

It’s Okay to Feel the Pain of Those Memories: If the thought of being in treatment during the holidays still stings, it’s completely valid. You may remember the quiet moments when you were in group therapy or the hours spent in your room, trying to avoid the intense focus on food that holidays bring. You may recall the longing to be with your family but feeling like you couldn’t leave because you weren’t “done” with treatment yet.

That feeling of missing out is real. The sadness of not being able to be “present” during the holidays because you were in treatment, focusing on your recovery, is a heavy burden to carry. But here’s something I want you to remember: you were doing the most important thing you could have been doing. You were working on your health, your healing, and your future. That’s not easy. It’s okay to mourn the experience of being away from loved ones, but it’s also okay to be proud of how far you’ve come since then.
Acknowledge the sadness, but also honor the strength it took to get through those times.

Creating New Holiday Traditions for Yourself: For many people in recovery, the holiday season is a reminder of a difficult past. But the beauty of recovery is that you can create new memories, new rituals, and new traditions that center on what’s most important to you now. You can make this time of year your time, not just a reminder of what’s been lost.

Here are a few ways to make the holidays feel more yours, even if the memories of treatment linger:

• Be Kind to Yourself: When you look back at the holidays spent in treatment, remember that you were doing the best you could at the time. Healing is hard work, and you chose to invest in yourself. Allow yourself to feel sadness or grief, but also remember to give yourself credit for how much progress you’ve made since then.
• Reclaim the Holiday Season: If the holidays feel overwhelming, start by choosing small, manageable ways to participate. Maybe it’s setting boundaries with family gatherings, or perhaps it’s spending the day doing something that brings you peace, like journaling, taking a walk, or enjoying a cozy evening at home with a comforting movie. The holidays don’t have to be celebrated in the same way they were before; they can be an opportunity to create a new, more supportive version of the season that works for you.
• Make New Traditions: Perhaps you can’t change the fact that you spent last Thanksgiving or Christmas in a treatment center, but you can still create new, positive memories. Maybe this year, you start a new tradition—something small like keeping a daily gratitude journal or making a special meal that aligns with your current relationship with food. These moments of self-care and mindfulness can help you take ownership of the holiday season.

Reach Out for Support: If the memories of being in treatment feel like too much to handle, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. You don’t need to go through the holidays alone. Talk to your therapist, join a support group, or lean on friends who understand what you’re going through. It can be incredibly helpful to have someone to talk to who can hold space for your emotions and offer reassurance.

Remember, you are not alone in feeling this way. Many people have faced the challenge of being in treatment during the holidays, and many people have come through it with strength, resilience, and a renewed sense of self. Healing from an eating disorder is not just about recovering from behaviors; it’s also about rebuilding your relationship with yourself, with food, and with your past.

A Final Thought: The holidays may bring difficult memories, but they don’t define your recovery. You are not the person you were when you were in treatment, and you don’t need to let those past experiences hold you back. Recovery is a journey of reclaiming your life, your identity, and your sense of peace.

This holiday season, I encourage you to be gentle with yourself. Allow yourself to grieve the past, but also look ahead with hope. You’ve made it through some of the toughest moments in your life, and you’re still here, moving forward.
You’ve got this.